This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
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