At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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