I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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