I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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