Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize