I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
We are two peas in an std pod
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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