i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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