I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
