Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize