So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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