i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Randomize
