I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Randomize
