and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
Life is so much better after having sex.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Randomize
