K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
