he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Randomize
