i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
