She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
