I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Congratulations! We have a period
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
