honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
