1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
