Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Randomize
