Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Someone shattered a urinal.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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