your parents love me but you hate me
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
