After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
