they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
