the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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