If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
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