Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Randomize
