"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
