trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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