is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
