I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
did i walk over a car last night?
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
