i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
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