Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
i believe in u and ur pee
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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