Are we in a gay sports bar?
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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