that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
