ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Randomize
