guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Randomize
