So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
