You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Rumble strips road head = magical
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
