hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Randomize
