just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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