We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
3pm strippers are depressing
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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