We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
