Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
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