A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
she peed on how many people?
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize