you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
