He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
