think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize
