Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
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