Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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