We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Randomize
