I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
