i would punch a child for taco bell
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
