My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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