please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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