I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize