My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Pińatas plus fireworks don't mix well
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
