All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
