opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
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