I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize