Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
