i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Randomize
