Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
