dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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