Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
