The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
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