Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
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