we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
