It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
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