birth control should be required to get into college
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
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