can we get nightvision for the apartment?
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
