I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
