in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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