so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
