Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Randomize
