Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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