so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
