sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Randomize
