I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
