last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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