what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
