His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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