the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Randomize
