I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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